Trust Your Instincts, but Seek the Right Support: A Smarter Approach to Parenting Challenges
When your parenting "Spidey sense" tells you something is wrong, it’s natural to search for answers online. But before you know it, you’ve spiralled down a rabbit hole of conflicting opinions, personal anecdotes, and fear-based information. This approach—waiting and seeing while anxiously consuming information—helps no one. Instead, let’s talk about a more effective way forward.
A Smarter Approach to Parenting Concerns
As a parent, you will inevitably encounter situations that trigger worries and self-doubt. Rather than getting lost in an overwhelming sea of opinions, ask yourself:
- How often am I seeing this behaviour?
- Is it getting in the way of daily life?
- Who are my trusted sources of support and information?
When a doctor advises you to "wait it out," what should you do next? Instead of passively waiting, consider pushing for more information, asking additional questions, seeking a second opinion, and connecting with others who have faced similar challenges.
Finding Support and Solutions
Building a support system is crucial. I run a Facebook group for parents navigating ADHD (Parenting ADHD with Compassion), where parents share experiences, advice, and quality resources. Feeling alone and isolated in your parenting journey is not a good place to be, so take steps to build your network.
Even without a diagnosis, you can take proactive steps toward positive change. Consider:
- Identifying barriers that may be blocking progress
- Seeking tools or strategies to make daily life smoother
- Understanding the root causes of behaviors rather than just reacting to them
The Iceberg of Behavior: Look Beneath the Surface
When your child or teen displays strong emotions or challenging behaviours, try to see things from their perspective. You only witness the tip of the iceberg—the outward behaviour. What’s happening beneath the surface?
A great place to start is using the ABC framework of behaviour:
- Antecedent: What happened before the behaviour?
- Behaviour: What did they do?
- Consequence: What followed the behaviour?
Planning ahead and focusing on what is going well can help you feel more in control. Seek solutions from trusted professionals, and if you’re unsure where to start, ask for referrals from friends or professionals in the field.
Balancing Support with Independence
The most important factor in parenting is the parent-child connection. This means:
- Seeing their struggles without jumping to punishment or judgment
- Avoiding the instinct to immediately fix or accommodate every behaviour
While protecting your child comes from a place of love, constantly stepping in can prevent them from developing essential life skills. Instead, stand by their side, offer support, and allow them to take small steps toward resilience and independence.
Advocate for them at school and daycare to ensure that everyone is on the same page. Make sure accommodations support their needs without removing opportunities to build skills and confidence.
You Are Not Alone
Parenting can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. I’ve created free guides and training sessions available on my website to help parents understand and support their children more effectively.
By taking a proactive, informed approach, you’ll not only help your child thrive—you’ll also feel more confident and empowered as a parent. Instead of getting lost in the "wait and see" mindset, take action, build your support system, and focus on strategies that truly make a difference.
